Sunday, January 16, 2011

An Unplanned Rest Stop Less Travelled By

My dearest readers, I have been remiss in writing lately, I hope you can forgive me. I have had personal challenges lately that eclipse my ability to relate the happenings of my daily life. 

The Bard at Rest
I became ill, and my prospects of recovery are still somewhat in question. There is no need to go into my maladies and complaints, only to say I have met each challenge with as much courage as I can muster, and have learned my (hopefully temporary) limitations.

I have found I am my own worst enemy, I spend much to much time in guilt that I ought to be doing something, and chiding myself for not getting the things done I ought yet to do, instead of pausing to listen to my body and complaints thereof, and seeking some resolution. 

It is difficult to admit my weaknesses, and I admit to giving into periods of depression and confusion of how I will go on if I cannot do the things I once did easily. 

Age plays a factor, I met many difficult health challenges in my younger years and came through each dire predilection just on plain stubbornness and and the youthful idea that I could beat any prognosis with the help of my maker, and the strength of knowing I just had to get through it for the sake of my young family.

One tends to think when challenges arise in later years that 'this is what happens when one gets older' and I am most guilty of having drunk from this well and dwelt in the sort of self pity that says, 'Is this my last song?'

Luckily, I am surrounded by many folks who have met the same problems I have now faced, who have had to resolutely decide to 'live' when life tells them it may be in question. I gather strength from them, and have begun to learn the wisdom of those great words that tell us that sometimes we must retire from the field to fight yet another day. And so I have.

More for myself than anything, I return to the page to assure you all that I am not gone yet, that I will be back, and more than anything I need to write about my life's experience and daily foibles to rejoin the land of the living.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you often and sending good wishes. LG

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