Thursday, May 19, 2011

If Life is a Bed of Roses, Why am I caught on the Thorns??

Today's View Out The Window of Our Road Warrior
We have worked on the road for six years now, first in a tent, then a gooseneck trailer and now a Fifth Wheel Toy Hauler, but we always had the house as an anchor.

The home we left behind
When we sold our home last year and hit the road in our new Fifth Wheel we were all hyped up about being free of all ties and such. Getting ready to cast off our moorings was breathtaking and thrilling. My every waking hour was spent plotting and planning our new future. Auctions, house sales, storage facilities, RV park leases, packing, organizing, re organizing, re packing were my daily chores that filled my every waking hour.

All during this hubbub I had this notion of us set up at some wonderful destination where the sun always shines, me playing my guitar or flutes, the husband working on his little projects and fishing.

How we lived 2005
Then, as we settled into our new unfettered lives on the road in our Dream Home, we found out that we brought something along with us. Us. Us with all our problems and foibles. Us with all our worries and unfulfilled dreams. Us with a busy work schedule that involved many traveled miles and hard physical labor setting up and tearing down a huge canvas kitchen on a weekly basis.

It was foolish to think that we would just sail into the sunset and everything would be fresh and new everyday, but none the less, it was been a bit of a let down to find out an RV Park is just another place to park, that a road is sometimes just another road.

A life well lived sometimes has it's lulls and dissapointments. Things break in the Fifth Wheel, traffic is horrendous and diesel fuel prices climb. Sometimes we get homesick. Sometimes we get sick. The blues are bound to find you, no matter where you go or how ideal your life is. Nothing is as perfect as we think it will be.


Couldn't Toss an Extra Hanky in There....


It's not that we have regrets. Given the chance we wouldn't change a thing, not even our bouts with major illness, as it taught us what was important in life. I think that maybe it has to do with our being driven, almost to madness, to achieve our goal of freedom, only to find out that now that we have it, life is pretty much the same, only now we are living in a nicer home.

I think I miss all the stress of planning and scheming to pull it all off. I have always been a "Type A Junkie", I love to take on challenges and work it all out. Now I am supposed to decompress and just enjoy, something I have never had to deal with before. Imagine, missing stress! What a Head Case!




Our Humble Tent Home behind us...
At least I have begun to figure it out and put in to acion a new plan to fulfill my "Compulsive Organizing" needs...I have embarked on getting back to my original interest in recreating Pre Contact Aboriginal Clothing and have even set up a time, everyday, to practice my instruments. I'm sure I will find a way to be anal about it all and get my "Fix".

When we switched from Tent to the Gooseneck
The truly important thing is that we are trying something different, together. We have succeeded in breaking the cycle of a life less lived and are moving toward a future where we can learn to be a bit less obsessive and a lot more relaxed.

I have come to except that there will be ordinary days, not everyday can be at the Ocean Side with the surf pounding in our ears.

Some days, will be slow, or we will be tired and bored. Some days we will be parked in less than desirable circumstances with less than desirable neighbors. Some days will be spent wondering wear the heck we are when we first wake up.
Interior of Our First Tin Tee Pee

But we will be together, for better or worse and will work through it. We will remind ourselves to take a walk and enjoy the nature around us, and not just do what we do and not notice it's Spring and the world is waking up.

There, you see, just getting it off my chest has made me feel better. I think I will go for a walk...

7 comments:

karylsquilts said...

Welcome to spring !!...

Donna aka Froggi said...

Great post...I've been feeling a little of the same but for me it's been due to 6 days of dreary weather and not getting outside.

Levonne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Levonne said...

Thanks for following A Camp Host's Meanderings. I'm looking forward to knowing you through your blog. Love today's post. I've been there! In fact, I am there!

Alan and Marilyn McMillan said...

Great post...I've had some of the same thots and feelings -- had to decompress after years of stressful work. Then -- what's next? We are finding our way and no regrets here either!

Ashley said...

Totally been, that feeling that if you just clear that one hurtle you're home free. Then there's another hurtle and another... Good luck with it all!

Doyle and Terri Johnson said...

Thanks everybody, reading your comments made me feel like I'm not the only one who feels the "Road Blues" sometimes, got my ambition fix by laundering everything, (and I do mean everything), so now I have to try and get it all put away...I know you feel my pain, want to get a trailer to pull behind just with an extra closet and drawers in it...

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